On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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