Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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