Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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