I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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