On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
