Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
did you just send me my own nude
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
