Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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