And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
