He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize