She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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