i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
