They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
