At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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