Just cropdusted the office
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
