I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
