rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
