i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
