how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
