People in love make me want to vomit
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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