dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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