Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
