xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
