I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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