Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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