I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
PS: I just woke up from my shower
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
