i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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