Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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