i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
