Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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