don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it glows. i had to have it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
