somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
