member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
