my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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