Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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