I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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