Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize