Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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