Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just google imaged poop.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
