It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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