we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
