Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
