so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
