It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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