you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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