South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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