So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
