My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
