I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
