my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
