We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
