I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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