Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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