Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
