got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
