ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
