Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Terrible idea I love it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
