This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
