a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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