Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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