The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
